Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Soberty Always Wins

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Funny

Lets Dance..DinChak...DinChak


Grand Mother In Full Flow...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Interesting New Alphabets

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New Alphabets


A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.



Now The New Alphabet:

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?



D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.


H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!


P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.



W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed !

Thursday, June 17, 2010

H2O: Dangerous Chemical!

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H2O: Dangerous Chemical!

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:


  1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
  2. it is a major component in acid rain
  3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
  4. accidental inhalation can kill you
  5. it contributes to erosion
  6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
  7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

  • Forty-three (43) said yes,
  • six (6) were undecided,
  • and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious

source:- This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

INSTALLING HUSBAND

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INSTALLING HUSBAND

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0..

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5..0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system..

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,




Reply !!


DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam

Roles in Heaven

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Brahma
Systems Installation


Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support


Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant


Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management


Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)


Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation


Narada
Data transfer


Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant


Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records


Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses


Devas
Mainframe Programmers


Surya
Solaris Administrator


Rakshasas
In house Hackers


Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF


Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process


Lakshman
Support Software and Backup


Hanuman
Linux/s390


Vaali
MS Windows


Sugreeva
DOS


Jatayu
Firewall


Dronacharya
System Programmer


Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects


Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion


Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)


Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )


Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)


Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)


Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer


Draupadi
Motivation & Team building


Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM


Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB


Karna
Contract programmer


Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++


Gandhari
Dreamweaver


100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches



Monday, June 7, 2010

Hilarious I.T. Jokes !!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Everyone Ask Me Why I Smoke So Much

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Every One Ask Why I smoke too much .....


I was not like this before......


I Was Iike This


Until I saw girl



I like her soo much that i told lots of truth and lies to her.....
example "u r soooo cute"....




I promised her a lot....




I gave costly gifts on 14th feb like this....


I gave her a shock like this when she acepted my proposal..



I used to talk her and do this at office...




Whenever I go out with my girlfriend my friends used to give me this look......



Then I used to give him pose like this......





At last my girlfriend gave the Rose to me like this .............and she went away....



I did't know what to do, where to go......




....................and then I got my precious



and then i started smoking and drinking...!!!




MY STORY...!!!

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